Even though I’m really exhausted and already fighting a bit of a head cold, I love this event and I love being here.

I’m volunteering this year as a Festival Insider Pro which is a nice way to say that I’m a walking information booth. Sundance created this position two years ago after reading comments from attendees, realizing that although all details of the festival are published, it does help to have some friendly customer service information representatives roaming the festival. I have a lot of gear that says ASK ME on it.

In most cases, I ask the first question:

“How is your festival going?”
“What films have you really enjoyed?”
“What do you still have tickets for?”

Within a few moments, we’ve begun a nice conversation. That little bit of initial communication often launches a series of questions from them:

“How does the Wait List work?”
“Where can I get a bite to eat?”
“What should we do after the film?”
“What would you recommend?”
“How do I get to…?”

So many of these answers are easily available on the Sundance website, but the various people I run into seem to love to hear it from a person. They say hello if they see me elsewhere after the festival, even if I’m not in my volunteer jacket.

So here’s where we make it universal…

Do you have this in your school or organization?
Are there people there to ask questions for first time attendees at your event(s) or new students at your school?
Are they proactively initiating conversations that open up an opportunity for the other person to ask questions?
Is your information available on a website? How do you share it with those without immediate web access?

Have a strategy. The customer service results for Sundance went up after they created this position (& a few other programs). Help make that happen in your own group as well.

This is my third year volunteering at the Festival. It feels really familiar now. My nerves from the first two years are really reduced, and now I’m just looking forward to reconnecting with friends.

So I’m looking outside the window. The snow is visibly bare, but tomorrow a storm is suppose to come.

Tomorrow I begin my volunteer role. Tomorrow things kick off and I’ll get quite busy.

I’m going to do my best to post a blog here and there when I can–sometimes highlighting some great films, sometimes highlighting a great experience, sometimes highlighting a great lesson learned.

Even though they seem familiar now, these two weeks challenge me in such a unique way, and I’m so glad I have the chance to do them.

I grow from this little “storm” each year. I learn from so many of the incredible documentaries that I see and the stories they tell.

If anything, it reminds me that each of us has some form of story to share–some happy, some sad, but all worthwhile.

So tomorrow it gets busy. Tomorrow I see so many of the stories.

Right now, I feel like I’m looking at the cover of a book and I can’t wait to turn to the next page.

I like this feeling.

I hope you have a moment like this in your life soon : )

Thom is a fellow speaker I first encountered a few years ago at the annual convention for the National Speakers Association. He’s a really nice guy, and I thoroughly enjoyed his down to earth nature, his humor, and his great insights on this adventure we like to call our job.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet many people along my journeys over the past decade or so, but I don’t always get to meet up with them again.

This is how Thom is different.

A few days ago, I happened to post a funny screen capture from my iPhone on my facebook profile and joke about the weather in San Diego (I’ve been spending more time out here now since my fiancé relocated here for work last June). Thom saw the post and instantly sent me a message–he happened to be heading to San Diego to speak and facilitate at a major convention taking place downtown and he wondered if I’d like to meet for breakfast before his presentations.

I’m glad he asked.

We enjoyed a really nice visit, sharing stories from the past few months, as well as some recent successes and challenges our career has presented us.

Again, I really enjoyed the conversation, but it’s amazing how it almost never happened.

Why?

Because someone had to ask first & Thom is that guy. He’s really good about meeting up with people and continuing connections as he travels. It makes his time on the road that much more bearable. It make his life that much more rich.

Back in high school, I often complained that “nothing is happening” or “no one wants to do anything.” As an adult I see that really translates into “no one else has told me what is happening…” or “no one has asked me to do anything,” or (if I really want to be honest), “I haven’t taken the time to brainstorm an activity or invite anyone to do anything.”

We can complain about what “isn’t” there or we can take a moment to make things happen.

It took Thom less than 30 seconds to send me that facebook message, but the result was quite nice.

So in 2012, let’s begin with easiest part of all of our friendships and relationships–let’s initiate some interactions to connect. Send someone an email, text, facebook message or better yet give them a call or meet up with them in person and set up a time where you can meet up and connect.

Then enjoy the results : )

UPDATE: Just saw this great blog entry with some wonderful ideas for all my teacher friends on how to increase the frequency and depth of some connections with your colleagues.

Yep, we’re here. A new year and a few weeks of writing the date wrong. Blogs are back, and so is Friday Finish. Thank you for allowing me some time to just celebrate with my family in California. Both entries from me this week are pretty short, and as always I really enjoy the writings by other authors. I’ve selected three posts all about kicking off your new year. Happy 2012!

Posts by Patrick
Process, Not Perfection
The Iowa Caucus & Apathy

Posts by Others
The Artificiality of Time by Seth Godin
Live This Year as Though You Were Living it for the Second Time by Donald Miller
How to Make a New Year’s Non-Resolution by Daniel Pink

Seriously, don’t worry. This won’t be a political rant–not about any candidate or any party.

But it will be a rant about apathy.

Did you see the Iowa Caucus results from last night?

8 votes separated Romney and Santorum! 8 votes!!!

Far too often people think, “my vote doesn’t count” or “I don’t make a difference,” but 8 people was the final difference for Romney and Santorum.

So it’s time to stop complaining about voices not being heard.

Get up. Get active. Get involved.

I’m not just talking about state and national elections and issues, but community and school causes as well.

8 votes made the difference and the total number of votes cast wasn’t even 1/2 of the registered Republicans in the state of Iowa, and only 5.4% of all eligible Iowa voters. In other words, the outcome could have been entirely different.

Do you want your community to change?
Do you want your state to change?
Do you want your nation to change?
Do you want your world to change?

Get up. Get active. Get involved.

It’s one thing to curse at the darkness, it’s another to find a way to bring in some light.

Yep, we’re at Day One of 2012.

It’s time for a lot of resolutions.

Change this.
Do this.
Be this.

All of these ideas and all of these pursuits have merit. We should strive to be better.

But far too often we get way too discouraged and abandon ship way too early. We stumble and because we are no longer 100% perfect in our quest, we give up.

The best success stories are never perfect. Those achievements we celebrate are often the result of many failed attempts.

The difference is the process. Those that succeed celebrate the process, not just the end result.

So now in 2012, as we write out our resolutions, let’s focus more on the shift in habit, rather than just the end goal.

Happy New Year!

Yesterday, I played the Mario Kart Time Trials mode several times, racing ghosts. If you’re not a regular Wii user (I wasn’t until recently), the ghost mode allows you to race your fastest time, a semi transparent version of you driving that same course. At first it is really easy to beat the ghost, as you become a bit more familiar with the course and can shave a few seconds here or there.

Then it gets difficult.

You’ve set a bar, and the ghost can be just out of reach.

I’m there right now with one course. I know I can still beat that ghost, I just have to get a little bit better.

So I’m playing this video game, trying to improve my personal best, and it got me thinking about regular life.

When was the last time I really tried to beat that ghost in some aspect of my personal or professional life? When was the last time, I spent hours doing that?

I was able to think of a few areas where I had done this, but also realized where there are other areas where I slacked.

So here’s my thought. In these last few days of 2011, take a few moments to highlight some of the “ghosts” you’d like to race in 2012.

It could be volunteering time.
It could be saving money.
It could be sending cards to friends.
It could be reading books.

It could be working out.

At this point, don’t stress out too much over the BIG resolution. Just try to beat that “ghost.” Be better than what you’ve done in the past. It’ll be tough, but the pursuit of it can often be where the fun lies.

And that’s a step in the right direction.

It’s been quite a week for me as many of you already know. I’m now engaged : )

I’m going to be spending a little bit more time with my fiancée and family and friends over the next two weeks so blogs may be a bit briefer. I hope you do the same. Have a great week and enjoy the blogs. Be sure to watch the video at the end. It’s part of a larger piece that has a great recipe as well.

Posts by Patrick
She Said YES!
Self or Social

Posts by Others
Atos Boss Thierry Breton Defends His Internal Email Ban by BBC News:Technology
Where Have All the Original Ideas Gone? by Scott Ginsberg
More Newsletters Worth Reading by Daniel Pink

Roasted Chestnut Spread from Happyolks on Vimeo.

One of my friends posted:

I just went to a Starbucks and all ten tables were taken up by single people with laptops. Wow. What happened to sitting and enjoying your coffee with a friend like we used to do?

I thought about it and was about to pass judgement on the people at the Starbucks, sitting around, not socializing.

And then I realized I was guilty of the exact same thing (just without the Frappuccino).

It’s not cool.

So my challenge–especially for those of you that are now down with finals and enjoy a period of time in your academic life known as “Winter Break”…

log out of your social media
turn off the computer
let Words with Friends take a breather
turn off the cell phone

and get social again.

Visit with someone. Make some eye contact with them and not with your personal media device.

I’m going to try this too (I’ll be sending a direct link of this article to my fiancée so she can call me on my hypocrisy if she witnesses it).

Enjoy the presence of others in the coming weeks : )

For me, it’s a story that begins in the summer of 2010 at my youngest sister’s wedding. It was a wonderful celebration that my whole family enjoyed. As I watched how happy my sister was with my new brother-in-law, I got to thinking. At the time I was 30, I had been single almost my entire life. I loved my job, but I wasn’t really meeting single women.

So I signed up for Match.com.

It didn’t go too well.

The next few months included several “humorous online dating anecdotes” that I shared with my family and close friends on my personal facebook profile. I went on several unsuccessful first dates with several women that just weren’t it. I put myself out there more than I ever had before, but it still wasn’t quite working. After contacting 2-3 women a day with little results, I put the whole deal on hold last September and just got busy working again.

But then I had my disastrous fall of 2010. I loved my job, but a lost passport caused me to cancel my first speaking engagement and reroute my travel to a hotel in Washington DC. I was still single. I had stumbled professionally. I wasn’t the guy I wanted to be. There, frustrated with myself, I renewed my match account, and stumbled across a profile.

She was cute. She seemed funny. She made me smile. She was different.

But she went to my rival school. I was (and am) a die-hard ASU Sun Devil fan, and I just didn’t know if I could date an Arizona Wildcat.

But as I continued to search profiles and contact women I wasn’t as thrilled with, I kept going back to her profile.

So finally on November 4, 2010, I sent her the following message:

Yeah, that’s pretty rad

I recognize I used a popular 80s term in the subject, but I’m going to be bold here and think that you might be okay with that…

why?

Because your profile is one of the best that I’ve read…

“anti-Toby”?

favorite movie of “Spaceballs”? (no joke, I once had a bike-lock with a combination of 1-2-3-4)

a Stieg Larsson recommendation? (completed the trilogy and have seen 2 of the 3 films–loved it)

Do tell more!

I’ll get the strikes against me out of the way…

A) I’m definitely 5′10″ –not taller, not shorter… 5′10″ so I know I don’t get the 6′ bonus points

B) I’m definitely a Sun Devil. Saw the obvious UofA photos in your profile.

But still check out my profile… look at the pictures (we all do), read the descriptions…

still with me?

Good.

I think we might still be able to be a match even with my maroon and gold clothing on a 5′10″ frame. I look forward to reading your reply to this message and hear about…

A) favorite SPACEBALLS line (just because that is amusing)

B) one cool memory from 2010 so far

C) two cool things about your family

I look forward to your reply

Patrick

She didn’t reply. Well, not immediately at least. But then a few days later, I did get a reply from her.

I was super busy with work at the time, still hopping on plane after plane, but finally just a few days before my birthday in a hotel room in Minnesota, I wrote back to her.

Just over a week later, on November 20, 2010, we went out on our first date.

It was a simple trip to Starbucks and an uncustomary 2 hour conversation at Tempe Town Lake that followed.

The conversation was so easy. She was so fun. We laughed. We shared a bit of serious stuff. It was great.

Our date came to a close, but the relationship was just beginning.

So fast-forward a year…

…and one MAJOR change. My girlfriend took a new job in June with a company she absolutely loved. Unfortunately, this also required her to move to San Diego. It presented a whole new challenge to our relationship and caused us to address some growing pains along the way, but as the fall approached, we found ourselves better from the experience. The unique nature of my job allowed me the ability to head out to San Diego when work was slow, as well as provided me with frequent flyer perks to fly her in for a weekend visit to Arizona.

As I sat on planes this fall, I had a lot of time to reflect, and I knew that this relationship was something I didn’t want to end, so I began to put my plan in place for the proposal.

My girlfriend’s company has a property in Napa. She had never been to wine country, and wanted to spend a nice relaxing weekend doing some wine tasting. She used her connections and I used my frequent traveler perks to get us up for a nice weekend away. She talked with some of her colleagues who used to work at the Napa property to get some recommendations, and I received a great list of places to visit from my friends, Greg & Tracy.

We left Saturday morning with a quick flight to San Francisco. After picking up the rental car, and driving into Napa, we stopped at Boon Fly Cafe (one of the great recommendations from Greg & Tracy) for a late lunch. It was tough for me to get the food down. I was incredibly hungry, but incredibly nervous at the same time. Part of me wanted to propose right then and just get it over with, but I knew I wanted to wait until evening.

We quickly stopped at our hotel, and headed out to Artesa, a nearby winery, that sits beautifully on a hill. The views were just breath taking as the sun slowly set. There was no doubt that this would also be a great place to propose, but I still continued to wait. We sat and talked about how lucky we both were to be sitting at this winery and just enjoying life. At times we’d just look at each other and wonder, “Really? Are we really this lucky?”

We watched the sun set and the sky change colors.

When I first started to get the idea of proposing in Napa, I started to look up amazing restaurants. I made a reservation early on at a place called, REDD. It had a Michelin Star and also offered a five-course tasting menu with wine pairings–a dining experience I’ve always wanted to try. I was able to get my nerves to take a break and enjoy the next two hours of fine dining with my girlfriend.

It was wonderful. We sampled each other’s plates. Talked about our amazing day.

And also talked about our year.

It was nice to hear her describe many of the things I was also feeling. It gave me a bit more confidence for the event that was about to take place (and also helped further reduce my nerves so that I could finish the food).

She drove back to the hotel (I claimed wine, but in reality in was nerves).

We got back to the living room of our suite and her gift laid on the coffee table. She had seen it wrapped for quite some time. I showed it to her weeks ago after I wrapped it and her other Christmas presents. It looked slightly out of place with the other gifts, and I told her I’d let her open it in Napa. She had asked about it several times throughout the trip and was a little bit frustrated that I made her wait so long.

We sat on the couch and I asked her if she wanted to open her present.

She quickly took advantage of the opportunity, and picked up the gift, unwrapping the blue paper to reveal a blue canvas print underneath.

I had taken a picture of a swing by her dad’s house.

It was the same swings we sat in back in February on Super Bowl Sunday. It was the same day of our first fight. We had gotten into an argument over a statement she had made to the fact that she would “never” move to my house in Arizona. For me it was a tough statement as I had been paying attention to the financial landscape and new my house wasn’t going to be something easy to sell. I was upset. I was frustrated. And so I sulked. I thought it could be the end of the relationship, but then things went differently. We talked about things. We talked about how much we cared about one another. We talked about how different the relationship was than any past relationship either of us had experienced. She even said she’d move out to my house if that’s what it took for us to stay together, but that we’d cross that bridge when we got to it. It was such a different approach to conflict in a relationship than I had ever experienced–not only had we resolved that conflict, but we were stronger in the relationship because we took the time to listen to each other.

We ended up having a wonderful day together at my friends’ Super Bowl party. It was one of the first times she had met my friends and they were just as impressed by her as I was. I knew I really cared about her.

As I drove her back to her dad’s house (she was briefly living with him to save some money), we both wanted the date to last a little longer, so she recommended some swings by his house. We went to this park, late in the evening, and sat and talked with one another. The conversation was different than it had been a few months before on our first date. It was deeper. It was more meaningful.

This wasn’t just some crush anymore.

It was love.

It was the first time I truly knew what love felt like. I had told a girl in the past that I loved her, but I now knew, that wasn’t it. That was a crush. This was a connection.

In that moment, I could actually picture a future with her. I knew I loved her. It was the very moment that it clicked.

But I didn’t say anything.

I know. It was a big mistake, but I had made the mistake years before of dropping the “I Love You” bomb WAY too early, and I had (for better or worse) vowed that I wouldn’t repeat this mistake again, and say anything first (I know–stupid–but this is how my mind works).

And so that day and that swing had some significance. I shared that significance with Jessica, and I could see that she also remembered that day.

For me, it was the real testament of love. That we had conflict, that we cared so much about one another that we could actually resolve that conflict, that we could celebrate with friends, and that we could enjoy the simplicity.

I told her that life had presented us so many challenges in the past year with the move. Life had also presented us with great highlights and peaks like our wonderful trip to New York, our picnics on the beach, and our day here in Napa.

But that I loved the simplicity with her.

I listed off several examples of this such as laughing at her cat, spontaneous dance parties, enjoying an episode of PSYCH, baking cookies together, and a few others.

I told her I liked the fact that there is joy in the swings and there is joy in the simplicity and that I didn’t want this to end…

So I got down on one knee, pulled out the jewelry box I had hidden earlier under the couch, and asked her if she would marry me.

And she said, “YES!”

Jessica with her engagement necklace at Silverado Winery

We’re both honestly still getting used to it, trying to figure out if we’re spelling or using fiancé or fiancée correctly. She started to look at rings (I proposed with a necklace, so she could have a say in her ring since she’s the one who will wear it for her lifetime). It’s all so surreal–almost as surreal as the castle winery we visited the following day (seriously, a castle in California). As we walked through this castle and we both considered how “unbelievable” this castle was, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own “unbelievable” story.

I was honestly beginning to wonder if there was someone out there for me who would really “get me.”

And then I met Jessica.

She didn’t fit in a perfect little box in my head (I’m still getting used to the whole Wildcat thing), but she is perfect for me.

Our love isn’t the one that is often depicted in the romantic comedy–that love works in a script, but rarely is real life.

My Princess at her castle : )

Our love is fun. It’s silly and goofy. It’s funny faces and stale jokes. It’s romantic gestures and simple chores. It includes some disagreements and an occasional tear. It includes incredible vistas and a romantic song.

And it’s still in the early stages.

Over the past year, I realized how much I like the whole package and the whole journey. I’m excited about what the next chapter will bring.

For my younger readers who have endured this LONG blog entry, let me just say that things happen in time and they happen for a reason. Sure part of me wishes I had a girlfriend back in high school or that I had dated more, but those “tough” experiences also shaped me and some of the decisions I made. If things had gone differently, I might not have met Jessica, and then I wouldn’t have this LOVE story–the one I’m quite happy to share : )