What?!?!?

No, I’m not quitting my job right now (I really do love what I get to do), nor am I going to go on a rant about what things I hate or my frustrations.

But I am going to write about quitting.

This isn’t a blog saying “don’t quit.” Nope, it’s a blog entry that is going to encourage your to consider quitting.

Why am I writing this?

On a long drive this week, I listened to an episode of Freakonomics Radio called “The Upside of Quitting.” I encourage you to listen to the episode via the link or download the free podcast on iTunes. One note: the episode does reference a few mature topics and may not be appropriate for my youngest readers.

An upside to quitting? Yes.

Don’t get me wrong–I believe in perseverance. I believe in working through adversity. I don’t believe life is overly simple, nor should it be.

But there can be an upside to quitting.

While we need to work through certain struggles and difficulties, there are other times where we might be better off quitting and walking away.

I was super active and super involved in high school and in the first part of college, and while I remained active throughout all four years of college, I found that my junior and senior years were better and I reduced the quantity of activities I did (quitting some organizations), and improved the quality of my involvement.

In order to do this speaking career, there reached a point where I quit pursuing teaching. I had already earned a credential & invested a great deal of money in that path (not to mention TONS of late nights and long weekends planning, preparing, and grading), but ultimately I had to step away. While I do miss my former colleagues and my daily interaction with “my” students, I do love my current job.

I could create a pretty big list of “big quits” (teaching) and “little quits” (my Netflix account), but the point is that quitting can be beneficial.

It’s just a matter of knowing what you truly love, where you truly find purpose, what really brings you happiness, and then summing up the will to struggle through the tough times or knowing when to cut your losses.

Sometimes I open up a leadership training by showing my GPS and its “Where To?” screen. Far too often I think we get caught up in the twists and turns of life without really focusing on our destination. Far too often I see young leaders who participate in activities for a “college resume” rather than a real love for what they are doing. Passion shows through in applications. We can have a resume of 30 activities, or we could have 2-3 activities where we really thrive and contribute.

So take a few moments and figure out if you need to say, “I quit” today.

“To infinity… and beyond!”- Buzz Lightyear

It seems to me to be the perfect quote to describe Steve Jobs. Without him, there would be no Buzz Lightyear. Without him, I wouldn’t be typing this blog up as easily on my MacBook Pro with iTunes playing in the background.

You may call it sentimental, but there is something truly remarkable about a man when his death is talked about and mourned by the company he founded, the founders of his rival companies, the heads of Disney, and the President of the United States.

I’ve been trying since his I first learned about his passing to put some thoughts down, and it’s been difficult. No, I did not personally know him–my closest interaction with him took place while I was visiting a friend of mine at Apple and saw Steve Jobs waiting in line in the cafeteria ultimately taking a seat a few tables away. But even that spoke volumes to me, to see such a successful person waiting in line.

So where do I begin to thank Steve Jobs for his impact on my life?

Is it the Apple IIe I first learned to type on in elementary school?
Is it the iPod providing the soundtrack for so many cross country trips?
Is it the Pixar movies that have made me laugh with friends?
Is it the iChat and FaceTime software that allows me to connect with others while I’m away?

It could be any one of these. I even attempted to do another one of those biography pieces that so many have written remembering this remarkable man. I agree that he was the Edison of our time.

But what I think is even remarkable about Steve Jobs is his failure and how it motivated him.

Here is a guy who bucks the rules for success and yet still totally achieved it.

Yes, he helped found Apple. Yes, he helped create the first Macintosh and launch the famous 1984 Super Bowl ad.

But he is also the guy who was fired by the company that he created. The people he brought it to help the company succeed moved him out.

Did he quite striving? No.

He went on to found another company which Apple would purchase years later. Yep, a decade later Apple would purchase his next creation and return him to the position of CEO. Oh yeah, and that technology would provide the building blocks for the Apple Store & iTunes software.

If that wasn’t enough, he also purchased another company. He invested a great deal of his own money into it, helping transition this hardware company into an animation company. We now know it at Pixar. For years, he lost millions of dollars in Pixar (a failure by most standards), but he was passionate about what they can do and this passion allowed the creative freedom Pixar needed to bring so beloved characters to life.

When he finally returned to Apple, he wasn’t bitter, he was driven. Soon we had the iMac and then years later the iPod.

And then he changed the game.

When I finally purchased my own MacBook in 2005, I remarked to my friends how easy it was to use and how much I wish that Apple would just make a cell phone.

My thought? A cell phone made by Apple. Same design as my Nokia–just made by Apple.

But Jobs never thought like that. He is always five steps ahead.

It wasn’t just a music player, it was the ease in purchasing that music. It was his ability to go to bat for the consumer experience.

He was a true innovator.

It allowed Apple to create the iPhone and the iPad.
It allowed Apple to set the pace.

And yet, he did this all with grace and humility.

Yes, there are stories about his temper, his standards, and his bluntness, but while he was tough, he was incredibly respected by his employees (at least those that I personally know).

He was known for his long sleeve t-shirt, his jeans, and his running shoes. He didn’t have an inflated CEO salary, just stock options. He would often still eat in the Apple cafeteria (where I saw him that one day). He used his money to invest in projects he believed in.

He would sit with old rivals and have incredible discussions (seriously, find any interview with him & Bill Gates–truly phenomenal conversations with the two of them).

And he looked to the future.

One of his last public presentations was to the Cupertino City Council about the new Apple Headquarters. It presented a whole new way of thinking about an office building and it remained in the town in which he grew up.

He was loyal.

There is much to say about Steve Jobs and I’m not doing the best here. I posted a link to this last night, and I want to post it again. I think he said it best during his Commencement Speech at Stanford University in 2005. I encourage you to take a few moments and watch it if you haven’t yet.

And here’s one more video. An earlier version of a 1997 ad where Steve Jobs actually does the voiceover that Richard Dreyfuss ultimately provided in the aired version.

Steve Jobs will be missed.

Special Note: I got the idea for the title of this from an illustration my friend and fellow speaker, Jason Kotecki, did on his blog. I encourage you to read it as well.

I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ll admit that friends have been recommending the book for ages, but I didn’t pick it up immediately mainly because I grew up hating the Oakland A’s (I was a SF Giants fan), and I ultimately stopped really loving baseball after the numerous strikes.

But people continue to say they loved the book, and I’ve heard the movie is getting great reviews from the Toronto International Film Festival.

Pick up a copy. Read it this week. You can see the movie when it comes out on the 23rd.

Lewis focuses on Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland A’s, as he and his front office systematically challenge the “rules” of baseball. The A’s have one of the worst budgets in major league baseball and yet consistently won more games than many teams with double or even triple the budget.

How did they do this?

They looked at those that others overlooked.

They utilized an incredible system.

They demonstrated loyalty.

I’m being overly simple there (read the book for a more extensive explanation), but those are the major ideas.

As I’ve read the book, I can’t help but think of the many student organizations and schools I know who currently have their backs up against the wall.

Budgets are short.

Resources are limited.

It seems that others hold the cards.

But we can take on this task. We can be the team that others cheer for. We have the ability to change the game.

If we recognize those overlooked resources and people.

If we utilize a great system.

If we remain loyal to one another.

It’s time to make the game fun again, even when it seems like everyone else has more.

If you’re a regular reader, you might already know what some of this blog might be about.

Just before Memorial Day this year, I felt a pretty intense triple punch of life. I had just finished speaking to the Maine Association of Student Councils and was headed home when I received an email from my sister. She was almost done with an incredible vacation in Costa Rica, and then things went bad. She was robbed at knifepoint and her wallet and cell phone were stolen. One of the girls traveling with her even got her passport stolen. No one was injured, but they were incredibly exhausted and frustrated by everything that took place. I thought this would be the extent of the bad news for my family or me, but I was wrong.

The next day, a Friday, I met up with my girlfriend. Earlier that day she had a job interview… for a job in San Diego. The interview had gone well and an official offer would take place on Tuesday. My girlfriend and I have been dating since November. It’s been going well, but a huge move was pretty intense. We got into tearful arguments, trying to navigate our worlds. After quite some time, she said she needed to get some food. While she was out, I checked my voicemail and saw that my mom had called several times. I called her back and learned…

…that my Grammy died.

I honestly was at a loss most of that weekend. My girlfriend and I delayed our argument while she tended to my sadness over my Grammy’s death. Still, I was all over the place that weekend. At one point I’d be happy and okay with life, and at other points, I felt like too much had been piled on me too quickly.

I cried a lot.

I talked with friends a lot.

I tried to process what was happening.

I flew out on Memorial Day to head to my speaking engagement. Luckily, it was near my cousins in Northern California. We visited and remembered my Grammy, tears turning more into laughter.

The next day, just before I spoke to over a thousand HS students, I received a call from my girlfriend. She was going to take the job. She’d move to San Diego in 12 days.

And so the clock began to tick. Counting down to the funeral and counting down to my girlfriend’s departure. The first week was fine. I had another speaking trip in Kansas, and flew back home to Phoenix in time to enjoy a nice date or two with my girlfriend.

But then the rapid fire dominos hit.

Fly back to San Jose on Wednesday, funeral Thursday, fly home on Friday, girlfriend leaves on Sunday.

It wasn’t easy for me by any means. I definitely emo’d out on facebook more than I’d like to admit. I continued to cry from time to time.

But like the popular saying goes, “This, too, shall pass.”

At the funeral, we shared more hilarious stories about my Grammy. My brother put together an amazing video about her, complete with film footage with my dad and aunt as little kids. We were able to celebrate my Grammy’s life. Then we had time to celebrate each other, watching my cousins’ kids play, and laughing quite a bit.

I flew back to Phoenix. My girlfriend and I shared a tearful goodbye.

But then I gained a roommate with a funny little cat (who actually just hopped up onto my desk as I typed this). While my girlfriend has been settling in San Diego, I’ve taken care of her cat (hence the numerous cat-based blog entries). On Tuesday, I’ll drive the cat out to California and will get to spend some time with my girlfriend before my speaking schedule really picks up. We’ve already booked plane tickets for the fall, allowing us the chance to visit one another. I even had some friends help me out with a last second booking in San Diego in late June, allowing a date right in between my one month apart from my girlfriend.

And so that brings us to today.

I look back at how I was feeling a month ago (preparing to leave on a flight to San Jose), and how I’m feeling today. Yes, it’d be easier if I didn’t have to do a long distance relationship. Yes, it’d be easier if those we love never died. Yes, it’d be easier if wallets and passports and cell phones would never leave our sights.

But life is messy.

It doesn’t always wrap itself up nicely in a bow.

But storms do fade away.

So as I dealt with all of this, I listened to After the Storm again.

I reread that blog entry I wrote back in December.

Those two thoughts remain true:

1) Bad days are temporary.
2) I surrounded myself with great people (and a cool cat).

If you’re struggling with anything right now, call up a good friend. Connect. Things will get better.

They have for me.

Last night as I did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen, I had the latest episode, “Constructing Serbia’s Largest Bridge,” playing in the background. I had just turned on my faucet when I heard the following:

Danny Forster, host: “Like the nearly one million bridges all over the world, the new Sava River Bridge in Belgrade is a unique solution to a unique set of challenges”

Martin Steinküehler, Project Manager: “Every bridge is a prototype, and every bridge is custom made, which you can see here–it’s a custom made pylon”

DF: “That is an amazing point. Every bridge is a prototype in that there has never been a condition with this geology. There’s never been a condition with this kind of traffic. There’s never been another condition that has this kind of wind. So design, the shape, the form, the height is all specific to this moment here in Belgrade.”

MS: “It is, and that’s why I like this job so much.”

I know they were talking about a bridge, but really, couldn’t they be talking about us?

Think about it.

Each of our lives are prototypes.

There has never been another person who has had the same set conditions, challenges, privileges, gifts, talents, struggles, etc. as you.

Yes, we can learn from others. The bridge in this episode is a cable stayed bridge like hundreds of other cable stayed bridges throughout the world. It utilizes many of the same principles. It can learn from other bridges and new technologies.

But in the end, it is unique.

I ended up sitting in my house thinking about this for quite some time last night. The past few weeks have been interesting to say the least (again, I’ll do a blog about them sometime soon), and I’ve been thinking about my current set of challenges. I would love for my “wind” to not be so intense and to have a bit more solid “geography” in my life to set down some firm feet.

But that isn’t in the cards.

Instead, my challenge…
OUR challenge
is to build our own prototype.

And if we do it well, perhaps we leave a lasting landmark.

The Sava River Bridge is being built in Serbia’s capital of Belgrade, still recovering for the Balkan Wars of the 1990’s. Buildings and bridges were destroyed and many lives were lost.

And yet they build…
…this beautiful prototype.

We’re all going to have struggles.
We’re all going to have challenges.
We’re all going to want moments with different circumstances.

It’s how we rise from these moments to bridge our gap into the next that makes life so interesting.

“It is, and that’s why I like this job so much.”

Don’t forget to take part in SUMMER SCHOOL, Patrick’s free six-week program to a better you.

Yes, I know. I’ve been pretty MIA this whole fall when it comes to blogs. For a time, I was pretty regular with the writing, and then I fell off the map.

To be blunt, I got my butt kicked this fall.

I know for many of you, this might be the first new blog you’ve read by me since signing up on my facebook page or seeing me speak at some conference this fall (even though I probably said I post 2-3 blogs a week). Please know that I did value that event. Speaking this fall was my highlight.

But I got my butt kicked this fall.

It started in mid-October and it continued up until right before Thanksgiving. I experienced more travel delays, more flight cancellations, a lost passport (which lead to me canceling not one, but two speaking engagements–something I’ve NEVER done), some hiccups in my personal life (including spending my birthday by myself in Chicago, sitting in an Apple store, waiting to see if my computer could be fixed before my next flight), and dealing with the aftermath of all of these issues.

If it had been just one thing, I think I would have been fine, but the combination of all of them made life pretty tough for a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I recognize I still live a privileged life. I recognize the challenges that some of my friends face and I realize everything listed above pales in comparison, but as a friend told me during a dinner in October, “don’t excuse it–it’s your pain or your struggle and you have a right to be frustrated by it.”

So I was.

I try to limit my “emo” moments on facebook. I had a handful of negative statuses, mainly during the lost passport situation and the birthday weekend that began with my hard drive failing.

And I didn’t really write blogs. I’m sorry.

Why am I sharing all of this? No, it isn’t to throw a pity party.

Rather, I think it is important to understand that A) even “motivational” speakers have tough times–that we all do as people, B) there are ways to get through them, and C) the other side is a great place to arrive.

A few days before the first of many “bad” dominos began to fall, I purchased the Mumford & Sons album from iTunes. I listened to the song After the Storm more times than I can count. It’s lyrics became my anthem. While it focuses a bit on love, I made it more universal. I knew, even amidst my stormy fall, that things would one day get better again (I just wished like most of us do, that the “better” would come sooner rather than later).

And that was step one.

I committed to the idea that my bad days were temporary. Yes, I had moments of frustration. Yes, I shed some tears during a phone call with my parents while I sat in Chicago alone during my birthday weekend. But I knew there were still cool moments to celebrate. I think a storm will persist if you live your life like Eeyore, focusing only on the negative. While I know there were times where I had difficulty seeing beyond my stormy present, I still tried.

Step two involved having great people around me.

When I was in HS, I took great pride in doing things “on my own.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. I realize now that the support I have from family and friends makes such a profound difference in my life. My amazing siblings and cousins knew my birthday was not going well, so they tracked down the hotel I stayed at that night for my next speaking presentation (knowing only the name of the city), and had a birthday surprise of cake and several treats awaiting my arrival. A few weeks later I celebrated a birthday “do-over” with my immediate family during Thanksgiving (my youngest sister even made a custom message appear on the menu of the restaurant). Other friends would drop a phone call or a message, peeling away part of the clouds.

Fellow speakers also helped me out. My good friends & mentors (and AWESOME speakers) Scott Greenberg and Micah Jacobson each covered a workshop for me at a conference in November after a flight cancellation delayed my arrival. A few days later, Micah and I chatted on the phone as he provided that challenge I needed to not only reflect, but also to grow as a speaker. It helped me focus in on who I want to be as a speaker and what I want to share, something that travel delays and personal life hiccups had distracted me from.

And then, of course, there were many of you. Not only do I have this job where my day of work often ends with people applauding, I also get to listen to many of your stories. I sometimes receives notes or emails about what you’ve done since the speech or workshop and how you’re changing your world. I’ve become friends with several advisors and now spend less time with them discussing logistics and more time discussing the latest highlights in their lives. These moments were the highlights of my fall.

And so now I’m seeing the clouds fade away. Life isn’t 100% perfect, but the older I get the more I realize I don’t think perfect is ever what life should be. I think it truly is about enjoying the journey, and I’m doing that again. I have a new passport and last week I was able to make it up to Canada to work with an incredible group of students. I thoroughly enjoyed the time with them. My last flight home of the year was cancelled. I was rerouted to a different airline, through different cities, and with new delays, but I enjoyed the trip, reflecting once again on the beautiful landscape of lights beneath me and this interesting thing we get to call life.

So my journey in 2010 brought me through a rougher path during the fall. I stumbled a bit. I struggled a bit. I had to have some others help me out during some segments.

But now I feel like I’ve climbed a bit of that hill. I have a better perspective of where I’ve been traveling, and I can see where I’m starting to head. I’m pretty excited. I’m looking forward to sharing this continued journey of life with you.

(and yeah, the blogs are back)

Oh, and if you’ve never seen or heard Mumford & Sons, they’re incredible. Here is a video from a concert performance of After the Storm

I’m sitting in the San Francisco airport right now. On my last flight, I finished reading Eat Pray Love. The final chapter (and I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here) describes how much has changed for the author in the last four years. She reflects on time. Where she was. Where she is now. The book (for anyone who thinks I just spoiled anything in those few fragments) is about her journey.

Yesterday, I watched Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, the sequel to the popular 1987 film. While I admittedly never saw the first film in theatres, it has been over five years since I last saw it. I really enjoyed having real life time for me pass and then witnessing the changes in the character Gordon Gekko and even the small appearance of Bud Fox.

This thought perhaps first launched as I watched Toy Story 3 in June. I watched each film opening weekend and waited the years in between each viewing. I felt time pass and the growth of the character Andy.

And I guess it is just that… it takes time.

The other night I chatted with a friend and the conversation eventually flowed into life and current frustrations or disappointments. My friend is a few years younger than me and I found myself saying, “just wait, you’ll see.” But then when it came to my own situation, I was a bit impatient.

I think that is our problem. We rush time, and we don’t always savor it. We don’t recognize the gradual series of events that our necessary to shape us, to mold us, to challenge us.

Perhaps that is why Eat Pray Love is so satisfying–because the reader has the chance to witness the author go through these stages, savor it on the written page, and celebrate the author’s arrival at happiness on a more realized path.

No profound wisdom here. I’m with you all as we struggle at times in this journey called life. Just know that the answer to a lot of our frustrations is, give it time. It takes time.

Before we headed into the park, I spent a bit of additional time hanging out with my cousins’ six month old son (in all honesty, my brother and I “borrowed” him and walked him around the hotel for a bit, eventually ending up in our room). All of my cousins have super cute kids. I’ve mentioned this fact on a regular basis. As I hung out with the newest addition to the family, I was fascinated.

He was on the verge of crawling.

But he wasn’t crawling yet. Seriously, he is so close. I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts crawling moments after I post this blog, but on Sunday, he still wasn’t there.

He was almost there.

It was a sight to see. There he was, using every ounce of strength to lift himself up, or try to pull himself forward, or try to kick his legs as hard as he could–it just wasn’t all coordinated yet.

He could move a little bit forward, occasionally grabbing a desired object, but only occasionally. He’d sometimes roll to get to some place, but he still couldn’t quite crawl…

…yet.

We would all encourage him, and for a minute or so, he’d give it everything he got, until he final gave up in frustration or minor exhaustion. He might try again thirty minutes later, but he still couldn’t do it (yet).

So I sat there, watching him, and thinking about effort.

I saw him truly give it everything, and I honestly couldn’t think of a time in recent memory where I pushed myself to that degree. I couldn’t think of a time in recent memory where I pushed myself so hard that I truly grew in the process.

Yes, I’ve taken on challenges. Yes, I’ve reached new goals.

But I don’t think I’ve pushed myself to that level.

I read an article a few years ago about the development that takes place in that first year of life. We learn a new language. We build new relationships. We identify objects. We go through massive amounts of strength building. It’s really incredible. The article described the development as the equivalent of training for a 100+ mile run, increasing your weight lifting 4-5 times over, and becoming fluent in 2-3 languages while reading a novel a day (I may be slightly off in my statistics, but you get the idea). All of this happens in a very limited period of time.

And then we grow up.

And sadly, we get a little too comfortable.

So today, I want to challenge you to crawl forward again.

Pick up a new goal this year. Pick up a new challenge. Push yourself to do something extreme.

I’m going to think about this for a bit, and hopefully announce a cool challenge that I’ll take on. Let me know what you decide to do even though you might not have accomplished it…

…yet.

I’ve been thinking a lot about our life stories or our personal narratives over the past few days. I spent the weekend at the Northern California Youth Leadership Seminar, a conference for high sophomores. I’ve speak at the conference every year and have really developed some great friendships with the volunteer staff, prompting me to expand my visit at the event this year. In the opening session, Seminar Executive Director Dan Vu discussed the idea of shaping our stories. He alluded to our tendency as people to repeat our own plotline or to assign character traits to others without considering their story. His challenge for the weekend was to consider the story of others and to consider the posibility for the story for ourselves.

I spent that day listening to the other keynote speakers present. I heard Anthony Rapp, the original Mark in the Pulitzer Prize Winning Musical RENT, describe the legacy of story shared by Jonathan Larson as well as the need for each of us to make our story more than just an engaging narrative. I heard from Congresswoman Jackie Speier, a survivor of a murder attempt at Jonestown, who turned incredible setbacks and hardships throughout her life only enhance her desire to serve, rather that end it. I listened to Scott Backovich describe the need for each of us to be catalysts in our community.

And then it was impossible not to hear from the students.

It was evident as the conference continued that the rough draft desires for their lives were being revised into purposeful plots. There was an opportunity to Write the Future.

I know at times it feels like the future cannot be changed. Perhaps we look ahead at a perceived reality, disappointed by lack of happiness or joy, its drought of success, and its absence of purpose. Like Wayne Rooney in the Nike Ad, we hate what we see.

The question becomes: are we prepared to run full force or change it?

Are we prepared to dig deep?

Are we prepared to push?

Are we prepared to strive?

Are we prepared to write the future?

“Second Chance Points”

Duke missed its first shot on a regular basis, but through a rebound and a quick pass, the team scored several three point shots, several field goals, and ultimately won the game.

While we often talk about a teams ability improve on rebounding, we don’t tend to do this in our own lives. We put a bunch of effort into an initial drive, but once there is a setback, we often give up.

It’d be weird to see a player in March Madness attempt a shot, miss it, and immediately head to the bench. Baylor, even when down by eight with just over a minute to go still fought hard.

We need to as well.

Grab that rebound and try again.