Thom is a fellow speaker I first encountered a few years ago at the annual convention for the National Speakers Association. He’s a really nice guy, and I thoroughly enjoyed his down to earth nature, his humor, and his great insights on this adventure we like to call our job.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet many people along my journeys over the past decade or so, but I don’t always get to meet up with them again.

This is how Thom is different.

A few days ago, I happened to post a funny screen capture from my iPhone on my facebook profile and joke about the weather in San Diego (I’ve been spending more time out here now since my fiancé relocated here for work last June). Thom saw the post and instantly sent me a message–he happened to be heading to San Diego to speak and facilitate at a major convention taking place downtown and he wondered if I’d like to meet for breakfast before his presentations.

I’m glad he asked.

We enjoyed a really nice visit, sharing stories from the past few months, as well as some recent successes and challenges our career has presented us.

Again, I really enjoyed the conversation, but it’s amazing how it almost never happened.

Why?

Because someone had to ask first & Thom is that guy. He’s really good about meeting up with people and continuing connections as he travels. It makes his time on the road that much more bearable. It make his life that much more rich.

Back in high school, I often complained that “nothing is happening” or “no one wants to do anything.” As an adult I see that really translates into “no one else has told me what is happening…” or “no one has asked me to do anything,” or (if I really want to be honest), “I haven’t taken the time to brainstorm an activity or invite anyone to do anything.”

We can complain about what “isn’t” there or we can take a moment to make things happen.

It took Thom less than 30 seconds to send me that facebook message, but the result was quite nice.

So in 2012, let’s begin with easiest part of all of our friendships and relationships–let’s initiate some interactions to connect. Send someone an email, text, facebook message or better yet give them a call or meet up with them in person and set up a time where you can meet up and connect.

Then enjoy the results : )

UPDATE: Just saw this great blog entry with some wonderful ideas for all my teacher friends on how to increase the frequency and depth of some connections with your colleagues.

One of my friends posted:

I just went to a Starbucks and all ten tables were taken up by single people with laptops. Wow. What happened to sitting and enjoying your coffee with a friend like we used to do?

I thought about it and was about to pass judgement on the people at the Starbucks, sitting around, not socializing.

And then I realized I was guilty of the exact same thing (just without the Frappuccino).

It’s not cool.

So my challenge–especially for those of you that are now down with finals and enjoy a period of time in your academic life known as “Winter Break”…

log out of your social media
turn off the computer
let Words with Friends take a breather
turn off the cell phone

and get social again.

Visit with someone. Make some eye contact with them and not with your personal media device.

I’m going to try this too (I’ll be sending a direct link of this article to my fiancée so she can call me on my hypocrisy if she witnesses it).

Enjoy the presence of others in the coming weeks : )

Wait–did I just say “church” and Advent “Conspiracy?”

Yes, I did. Keep on reading, even if you are one of my many non-Christian readers. And keep on reading even if you are one of my Christian readers who think “conspiracy” doesn’t belong with Advent.

Still with me? Good.

The Advent Conspiracy kicked off in 2006. It’s an incredible movement that has now expanded to thousands of churches who are changing the way they celebrate this Christmas season.

Let’s face it. With the celebration of Thanksgiving, people are now in Christmas overdrive and for far too many, this means stress, frustration, financial woes, etc. etc. etc.

Advent Conspiracy changes this. I love the concept and the movement.

You can check out the promo video here.

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

Even if you don’t go to a church…
Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas…
…we can all do this.

We can spend less money and spend more time with people. We can take that money that we would spend and donate it to a worthy cause.

I’m still going to buy gifts this Christmas, but I’m going to work to spend a lot more of my time with those that I love, and I’m going to do my best to give more to those who truly need.

I’m going to spend a small section at the end of each blog highlighting one of my favorite charities. If you have some I should also check out, please let me know.

I’ve seen the countdown to this qualification appear all year long. In August I was able to see if my remaining trips would requalify me. Even though I know my last trip qualified me (with room to spare), I still logged into the United website again to make sure it was indeed true.

And then the goal line was moved.

No, I still have my status, but the visual gauge which was almost filled had now been reduced again and a new countdown had developed until I could get the next set of bonus upgrades.

I have the highest status on United that you can earn (there is one more that they give to certain customers).
I’ve already earned some of the those bonus upgrades.

In other words, I now have a pursuit of something that is really pointless.

In truth, even my current 1K status is a bit pointless (although I do love the perks it provides me throughout my trips).

As much as I do like the United site with its countdown gauge to the status of my mini travel goal for me each year, there has to be a point where we’re satisfied–where we can enjoy the present.

I think a lot of us do this. We cannot celebrate our achievements along the way. We keep looking further and wanting more and more, and even when we reach a peak (like I did today with my 1K status), we extend the goal line.

Don’t get me wrong…

I believe goals are important
I think we should continue to challenge ourselves
I don’t want us to become complacent in our daily lives

But I don’t want us to miss out LIVING our lives because we move the finish line yet again and are unable to appreciate our present.

My girlfriend’s niece was born in late August during Hurricane Irene. Saturday marked the first time they met face to face, and my girlfriend was thrilled! She held little Lucy for quite a bit of our brunch in the city and loved every moment of it. I realized it would be quite some time before I would be able to hold Lucy, so I just smiled and made faces at her.

The next day we headed over to Lucy’s home and spent the day visiting with her and her parents. Once again, my girlfriend was totally enthralled by the bundle of cuteness that is her niece. Even though little Lucy didn’t sleep much that morning, she was still absolutely adorable (even when she became a little bit cranky before finally surrendering to a much needed nap). When she awoke, I finally had my turn to hold her (after double-checking with my girlfriend that this would be okay).

Lucy is quite cute. She’s at that interesting age where she’ll actually smile, but can’t quite laugh yet. She is responsive to you and will follow you along with her eyes. Super fun. So I held Lucy for quite some time, and I like to say that the two of us totally bonded.

We finally said our goodbyes (it took a few attempts as saying goodbye to Lucy wasn’t easy) and hopped on the subway back to Manhattan. On the way back, my girlfriend commented on my “baby voice.” I don’t actually use “goo goo’s” or “gaa gaa’s,” but rather I communicate to babies in full sentences with a slightly different tone. Apparently, I make my voice a little bit lower and a bit more animated. Oh yeah, and my voice gets SUPER animated. Ridiculously animated.

I’m probably a little bit glad that I held on to the camera for most of the time that I held Lucy as I imagine my facial expressions were a little bit crazy.

But I wanted Lucy to smile.
And she did.
And it was awesome!

So I was thinking about all of this on my flight home last night–how much effort I put into getting this almost-three-month-old  bundle of cuteness to smile, and how I really don’t do this in my regular life.

Think about it.
Think about your last interaction with a baby or a toddler and the effort we put in then.
Have you put in that major effort in your other relationships?

In order to get Lucy to smile, I had to remain focused on her and keep up some eye contact with her. I had to pay attention to where she was at and adapt a bit. If she cried, I had to attempt to respond to that.

I wasn’t busy playing on my iPhone or on facebook or on twitter or anything else. My focus was on her.
And in the process of giving her my focus and attention, I received a few priceless baby smiles in return.

Can we make some smiles happen within our own relationships by just giving people the attention they deserve?

SPECIAL BONUS: So we went to NYC to celebrate my birthday (November 14th). I was thinking about how in elementary school you used to bring “treats” in for your birthday, so I thought I’d give a treat to all my loyal readers. If you would like me to speak to your group in 2012 AND are able to book a 2012 engagement by the end of my birthday month, I’ll do that event for 2011 prices (a $250 savings). If you want to save even more, send me an email (pm@pmaurer.com) and I can give you more ways to get even more discounts.

The famous scene:

So on November 11, 2011, a bunch of people want it to be “Nigel Tufnel Day.”

While I LOVE the joke, I’m wondering if we can actually try to do this. No, not just celebrate Spinal Tap, but celebrate the idea of going above the limit.

Let’s not be those “blokes” who only live life at 10.
Let’s do more this Friday.
Let’s purposefully connect with the important people in our life.
Let’s purposefully serve those around us.
Let’s take on that one task we’ve been putting off.

Let’s live at 11.

Please do it, and share the awesome results.

“STONEHENGE!”

Oh yeah, and go watch This is Spinal Tap.

Last night as we talked on the phone, I reread some of the messages to her. We laughed quite a bit. In remembering the beginning, we realized how much we like the fact that we are still enjoying our present.

And so I think we should all do this during this week. No, I’m not saying you need to find the first few texts or messages in a relationship (although that isn’t a bad idea), but rather, let’s remember why we began on our current path at all.

There is a reason why we joined a certain organization or ran for a certain position.

There is a reason why we have certain friendships or are pursuing certain goals.

So let’s take a moment and remember the beginning. Let’s get fired up about a start and get more excited about our present.

Oh and since you read the whole blog, here’s one of the messages:

November 21, 2010 4:33pm
I know it violates all “guy rules” to contact you before the “3 day rule,” so please forgive this quick text to say I had fun yesterday and I hope you have a “productive” Sunday ; ) talk soon.

Her reply:

I’ve set an alarm for 4:15 am. Don’t wake me up

Yeah, that’s right. My phone got sassy with me.

There have been several articles pointing this at. Siri is hilarious when you ask her about Hal or want her to make a 2001 reference. She refused to comment when my cousin asked her if she knew Tony Stark or was a member of SHIELD. She sang my brother a song the other night when he said he was tired, and wished him pleasant dreams.

Yes, the technology is awesome, but the personality is what people are writing about.

I’m already blown away that I can just tell my phone to set an alarm and it will or remind me to do something when I get home and it schedules a location-based reminder. As my grandpa often says, “You just can’t do that. It’s impossible” It truly is amazing.

Still, the personality is the icing on the cake. It’s what makes me smile a bit or laugh as I complete these incredible technology-aided tasks.

I know many of you are doing incredible things out there right now, but is your personality also shining through?

Sometimes, in an adept to make our interactions more “professional,” we simply make them sterile.

One of my mentors showed me the benefits of changing that. In some of my more recent marketing campaigns, my tone is more like me. It’s true that this may turn some off of my style, and they may not book me, but for others, they find it to be a really cool approach.

Rather than try to be some “professional” that I’m not, I get to be me. While I don’t always book extra business, I have made some cool new relationships.

So let’s attempt to keep a bit of Siri’s Sass in our own lives this week. Let’s do incredible/impossible things, but let’s do them with OUR personality

My girlfriend and I brought the bulk on the supplies: two big bunches of firewood, matches,  plates, utensils, cups, sausages, buns, condiments, lemonade, roasting forks, marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers, trash bags, a frisbee, sweatshirts and blankets, sautéed onions, sautéed peppers, water, a flashlight, beach chairs, etc., etc., etc…

So it was a lot of stuff.

The walk from the car to the fire pit was tough. I had already loaded up a large backpack with many supplies, and still had a few other bags tangling on my sides. I lifted a bunch of firewood up to each shoulder and marched down the beach.

Needless to say, I was quite winded when we finally arrived, but the view was simply too gorgeous.

After taking a few minutes to set up our chairs and do a little organization, my girlfriend and I played frisbee for a few moments while we waited for others to arrive. They brought a few side dishes to share, adding to our food bounty. We laughed at each other’s poor frisbee attempts, pausing every few moments to look at the incredible sunset taking place before us.

Soon, I got busy starting the fire. It became evident, in comparing with those around us, that we didn’t exactly have a “bonfire” as much as we had a nice “campfire.” Our flames lacked the abundance and height of the surrounding pits, but still provided just enough warmth for the nice San Diego October breeze. The lower flames also allowed some better cooking and we quickly got to work with the sausages. Soon, we all just sat around the fire, eating some good food, and telling fun stories.

By the time we began making S’Mores, we had all already commented on how much fun  we were each having. It was my girlfriend’s first beach bonfire, and we actually learned that was true for a few more attendees. I ended up making the first S’More that one of her friends had ever tasted.

About 3 hours after we first arrived, the flames started to finally die down, and we began to pack up our things. We all agreed we needed to do this again–it was simply too much fun to make it a one time occurrence. Packing up was much easier. Even though we still had quite a bit of food left over, my backpack was significantly lighter. The firewood died down to simple ash left in the pit, and our full garbage bag found its way to the nearby beach garbage can.

We came in with many supplies, but we left with lighter bags.

Still, I think we each gained a great deal in the experience.

As we drove away from the beach, it occurred to me that for many of us–this is the purpose of this year in our leadership positions. We need to bring in our best, march to a destination, and provide a great experience for our community. When our term is done, we need to clean up after ourselves, laying the foundation for the next group of leaders to take it to the next level. If we’ve done our jobs right, we’ll positively impact those around us, and we may even gain a great experience for ourselves in the process.

Enjoy this leadership journey that your on. The memories can be pretty awesome : )

We had some flexibility in terms of how we spent our Monday. I did need to drive up to my current speaking engagement in Visalia, but other than that, she could take almost any one of the trains home. We didn’t have to worry to much about price. After enjoying a late brunch with my brother and sister, we decided we should extend our visit just a little bit longer and caught on afternoon matinee. I drove her to the Anaheim train station and waited with her by the tracks until her train arrived.

We sat there talking, making planes for her upcoming visit to Phoenix, and laughing about the great moments throughout the weekend with my extended family. Finally, her train arrived, we kissed each other goodbye, and I waved as she boarded the train.

As I started driving to my speaking engagement, I thought about how that can no longer take place for an airport. That finally story is lost, or at least it takes place outside the security gate. If a plane gets delayed, more time is spent waiting by yourself.

This blog isn’t about the changing nature of airline security (I’ve definitely experienced that in the years since 9/11), but rather it’s about how we craft our own stories.

Far too often, we make our daily interactions with people far too similar to the plane goodbye. It’s the quick drop off of someone at check-in or the goodbye wave at security. We don’t tend to linger or make the moment last a little bit longer.

But what if we did? What if we took just another moment or two today to enjoy the time that we share with people? What if we didn’t rush through our dinners, but enjoyed a leisurely meal and good conversation?

It may seem ridiculous, but we used to do this more as people before we made our lives about work, gadgets, and gizmos.

Airline security had to change after 9/11, but there is nothing that made us have to switch from “train” to “plane” in our own lives.

Enjoy the time you have with others–it’s such a valuable gift : )