I’ve been trying to write this blog for days. I’m still not quite sure how or if I’ll ever be satisfied by it. Quite simply, I’m upset. I’ve been reading the news over the past few weeks, especially this week, and I’m shocked and saddened by the wave of suicides linked to bullying of homosexuals. Suicide is always such a permanent solution to a temporary problem–and yet, I can only imagine the pain the students felt at the time they took their own life.
I agree with Ellen’s video from this week.
I’m sickened by the bullying. I’m tired of the bullying. I think it is time we put a stop to it.
So I hope this blog is a small minor part of the solution.
For My LGBT Readers…
First, I’d like to apologize that I haven’t been more vocal on your behalf. I’ve been privileged to have many LGBT friends in high school, college, and even now, and yet, I’m often more silent than I should be. I’m sorry. I will work to change this.
Second, please know that life does get better. I look at my LGBT friends today and the life that they have. Yes, they faced bullying as a teen, and yes, they still face discrimination today–but overall, their life is better. I’d encourage you to visit Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project on Youtube where countless LGBT share their stories. Perhaps it will comfort you as you face difficult times now. I just watched Neil Patrick Harris’ video message. I like his overall idea that fitting in during adolescence doesn’t always equate to what we value as adults.
For All of My Readers
First, I’d encourage you to read the above section and watch the videos even if you are heterosexual. Empathy is a great trait and hearing the stories on the It Gets Better Project might provide better understanding. Even though they are discussing bullying and struggles related in large part to growing up LGBT, the message “it gets better” really applies to most struggles we face as adolescents.
Second, I think we need to express the value to all of our friends. My cousin, Amy, posted the best comment to Ellen’s video. Amy wrote:
I hope that my child, nieces and nephews, cousins and friends always know that there is nothing they could do, no reality that could have, that could ever make them less worthy of my love. And I sincerely hope that none of them endure any form of bullying that would make them feel less than the wonderful, unique human beings that they are.
We need our friends and family to hear this from us.
We need them to know that we love them…
We need them to know that we accept them…
And especially for our LGBT friends now, we need to advocate for them. Don’t let your silence be deafening.
When I was in college, I worked on a group paper for my intercultural communication course. Our topic? Heterosexuals and Homosexuals. As a part of the paper, I interviewed several LGBT students on my college campus and looked at research on the area. As I was finishing the interview with my friend Victor, I asked him if there was anything else he’d like to share. He nodded.
“I need you to step up to the mic. It’s great that you support me in private, but we need more heterosexuals to be vocal. Stand next to us.”
My good friend, Neil Giuliano, was president of GLAAD for four years and during that time he asked me and other heterosexuals to become Allies. This is a simple thing that we all can do.
Let’s step up. Let’s stop the bullying. Let’s not let fear lead to hate. Let’s make the change happen. Let’s celebrate our friends for WHO they ARE, not what we want them to be.
Ellen has listed several great resources on her website. I encourage you to check them out.
I want to close this blog entry with the words of a man who is far more eloquent than me. The great Harvey Milk.
Watching this video makes me happy in the sense that he persevered and made change happen even if his life was cut tragically short. Watching this video also makes me sad as this speech is over 30 years old and yet its words still ring a bit too true today.