What’s this? A blog entry?
Yes, I know. I’ve been pretty MIA this whole fall when it comes to blogs. For a time, I was pretty regular with the writing, and then I fell off the map.
To be blunt, I got my butt kicked this fall.
I know for many of you, this might be the first new blog you’ve read by me since signing up on my facebook page or seeing me speak at some conference this fall (even though I probably said I post 2-3 blogs a week). Please know that I did value that event. Speaking this fall was my highlight.
But I got my butt kicked this fall.
It started in mid-October and it continued up until right before Thanksgiving. I experienced more travel delays, more flight cancellations, a lost passport (which lead to me canceling not one, but two speaking engagements–something I’ve NEVER done), some hiccups in my personal life (including spending my birthday by myself in Chicago, sitting in an Apple store, waiting to see if my computer could be fixed before my next flight), and dealing with the aftermath of all of these issues.
If it had been just one thing, I think I would have been fine, but the combination of all of them made life pretty tough for a bit.
Don’t get me wrong, I recognize I still live a privileged life. I recognize the challenges that some of my friends face and I realize everything listed above pales in comparison, but as a friend told me during a dinner in October, “don’t excuse it–it’s your pain or your struggle and you have a right to be frustrated by it.”
So I was.
I try to limit my “emo” moments on facebook. I had a handful of negative statuses, mainly during the lost passport situation and the birthday weekend that began with my hard drive failing.
And I didn’t really write blogs. I’m sorry.
Why am I sharing all of this? No, it isn’t to throw a pity party.
Rather, I think it is important to understand that A) even “motivational” speakers have tough times–that we all do as people, B) there are ways to get through them, and C) the other side is a great place to arrive.
A few days before the first of many “bad” dominos began to fall, I purchased the Mumford & Sons album from iTunes. I listened to the song After the Storm more times than I can count. It’s lyrics became my anthem. While it focuses a bit on love, I made it more universal. I knew, even amidst my stormy fall, that things would one day get better again (I just wished like most of us do, that the “better” would come sooner rather than later).
And that was step one.
I committed to the idea that my bad days were temporary. Yes, I had moments of frustration. Yes, I shed some tears during a phone call with my parents while I sat in Chicago alone during my birthday weekend. But I knew there were still cool moments to celebrate. I think a storm will persist if you live your life like Eeyore, focusing only on the negative. While I know there were times where I had difficulty seeing beyond my stormy present, I still tried.
Step two involved having great people around me.
When I was in HS, I took great pride in doing things “on my own.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. I realize now that the support I have from family and friends makes such a profound difference in my life. My amazing siblings and cousins knew my birthday was not going well, so they tracked down the hotel I stayed at that night for my next speaking presentation (knowing only the name of the city), and had a birthday surprise of cake and several treats awaiting my arrival. A few weeks later I celebrated a birthday “do-over” with my immediate family during Thanksgiving (my youngest sister even made a custom message appear on the menu of the restaurant). Other friends would drop a phone call or a message, peeling away part of the clouds.
Fellow speakers also helped me out. My good friends & mentors (and AWESOME speakers) Scott Greenberg and Micah Jacobson each covered a workshop for me at a conference in November after a flight cancellation delayed my arrival. A few days later, Micah and I chatted on the phone as he provided that challenge I needed to not only reflect, but also to grow as a speaker. It helped me focus in on who I want to be as a speaker and what I want to share, something that travel delays and personal life hiccups had distracted me from.
And then, of course, there were many of you. Not only do I have this job where my day of work often ends with people applauding, I also get to listen to many of your stories. I sometimes receives notes or emails about what you’ve done since the speech or workshop and how you’re changing your world. I’ve become friends with several advisors and now spend less time with them discussing logistics and more time discussing the latest highlights in their lives. These moments were the highlights of my fall.
And so now I’m seeing the clouds fade away. Life isn’t 100% perfect, but the older I get the more I realize I don’t think perfect is ever what life should be. I think it truly is about enjoying the journey, and I’m doing that again. I have a new passport and last week I was able to make it up to Canada to work with an incredible group of students. I thoroughly enjoyed the time with them. My last flight home of the year was cancelled. I was rerouted to a different airline, through different cities, and with new delays, but I enjoyed the trip, reflecting once again on the beautiful landscape of lights beneath me and this interesting thing we get to call life.
So my journey in 2010 brought me through a rougher path during the fall. I stumbled a bit. I struggled a bit. I had to have some others help me out during some segments.
But now I feel like I’ve climbed a bit of that hill. I have a better perspective of where I’ve been traveling, and I can see where I’m starting to head. I’m pretty excited. I’m looking forward to sharing this continued journey of life with you.
(and yeah, the blogs are back)
Oh, and if you’ve never seen or heard Mumford & Sons, they’re incredible. Here is a video from a concert performance of After the Storm
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