I just spent a great weekend in New York City with my girlfriend. The weather was perfect, changing leaves still clung to trees, and we had a really great time. In addition to seeing a Broadway show, doing some shopping, and eating at an amazing NYC restaurant (where my girlfriend’s brother happens to be the Executive Chef), we spent a great deal of time visiting with my girlfriend’s brother and his family.
My girlfriend’s niece was born in late August during Hurricane Irene. Saturday marked the first time they met face to face, and my girlfriend was thrilled! She held little Lucy for quite a bit of our brunch in the city and loved every moment of it. I realized it would be quite some time before I would be able to hold Lucy, so I just smiled and made faces at her.
The next day we headed over to Lucy’s home and spent the day visiting with her and her parents. Once again, my girlfriend was totally enthralled by the bundle of cuteness that is her niece. Even though little Lucy didn’t sleep much that morning, she was still absolutely adorable (even when she became a little bit cranky before finally surrendering to a much needed nap). When she awoke, I finally had my turn to hold her (after double-checking with my girlfriend that this would be okay).
Lucy is quite cute. She’s at that interesting age where she’ll actually smile, but can’t quite laugh yet. She is responsive to you and will follow you along with her eyes. Super fun. So I held Lucy for quite some time, and I like to say that the two of us totally bonded.
We finally said our goodbyes (it took a few attempts as saying goodbye to Lucy wasn’t easy) and hopped on the subway back to Manhattan. On the way back, my girlfriend commented on my “baby voice.” I don’t actually use “goo goo’s” or “gaa gaa’s,” but rather I communicate to babies in full sentences with a slightly different tone. Apparently, I make my voice a little bit lower and a bit more animated. Oh yeah, and my voice gets SUPER animated. Ridiculously animated.
I’m probably a little bit glad that I held on to the camera for most of the time that I held Lucy as I imagine my facial expressions were a little bit crazy.
But I wanted Lucy to smile.
And she did.
And it was awesome!
So I was thinking about all of this on my flight home last night–how much effort I put into getting this almost-three-month-old bundle of cuteness to smile, and how I really don’t do this in my regular life.
Think about it.
Think about your last interaction with a baby or a toddler and the effort we put in then.
Have you put in that major effort in your other relationships?
In order to get Lucy to smile, I had to remain focused on her and keep up some eye contact with her. I had to pay attention to where she was at and adapt a bit. If she cried, I had to attempt to respond to that.
I wasn’t busy playing on my iPhone or on facebook or on twitter or anything else. My focus was on her.
And in the process of giving her my focus and attention, I received a few priceless baby smiles in return.
Can we make some smiles happen within our own relationships by just giving people the attention they deserve?
SPECIAL BONUS: So we went to NYC to celebrate my birthday (November 14th). I was thinking about how in elementary school you used to bring “treats” in for your birthday, so I thought I’d give a treat to all my loyal readers. If you would like me to speak to your group in 2012 AND are able to book a 2012 engagement by the end of my birthday month, I’ll do that event for 2011 prices (a $250 savings). If you want to save even more, send me an email (pm@pmaurer.com) and I can give you more ways to get even more discounts.